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Why We Argue...



It was International Peace Day yesterday, and while we observe through the news channels many of the not-so-peaceful events happening out there, most of which we do not have control over, we can still find peace within ourselves and between ourselves & those around us, especially our loved ones.



For many years, my husband and I used to argue a lot, we have very different taste, attitudes/beliefs and habits. As a result, we would disagree frequently and it used to often upset me until one day I saw in the mirror the reflection of another mirror I was holding in front of me, reflecting back and forth in an infinite loop. Then, a flash of insight came to me that it was our own tendency to judge and criticize is being reflected back on each other, in an infinite cycle! And as soon as I removed the mirror, i.e. as soon as I stopped my judgments & criticism of him judging me and criticizing me, we stopped arguing.



And as I created space by observing my own reactions, I noticed that I was the only one that was getting upset from these interactions and not my husband, and then the realization came to me that it was my own desperate need for him to agree with me and to support me that was making me upset, expecting him to be different, unable to accept his criticism for what it is. As soon as I became aware of this desperate need for him to be different within myself and able to heal it and release it, I was able to find harmony in my relationship with him.  


We no longer argue any more, we simply agree to disagree, allowing each other to express our opinions and celebrate our differences!


Namaste!


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