Kyung Sun Yi-O'Kelly
Certified Holistic Yoga Instructor & Healer, Bilingual in English & Korean
~ A Healing Journey of a Warrior with No Sword ~
The end of “fighting”, “fixing” and “correcting” and the beginning of “choosing”, “healing” and “creating”
Ever since I can remember, I have always been a fighter, fight to do the right thing, fight to protect the weak, fight for justice, and fight to get what I want and deserve, always quick to point out the wrongs or problems. I hated seeing unfairness or injustice and could not stand doing nothing and often got into fights or arguments with my siblings at home while I was growing up in Korea and later at home with my own family and at work with my colleagues and vendors.
But then I also tended to anticipate the worst always and used to get offended easily and was quick to voice my criticism of others and as a result, I created enemies often to the extent that I am certain that I may well have been labeled as paranoid if I had ever been evaluated by a psychologist but I never did. And yet I was good at getting things done, visioning the outcome and conceptualizing the solution and organizing, and I managed to succeed in some parts of my working career but more often than not, I got into trouble many times, resulting in conflicts at work and at home; leaving home after conflict with my Dad, going through a divorce, job losses and many short lived relationships with vendors.
It was much later in my life that I realized that the stress and disharmony I was experiencing was all of my own creation from being unable to control my violent inner selves; impatience, short temper and controlling nature, wanting others to change. And worst of it all, I was totally unaware of myself.
So what made me change?
It was on the evening of the day of my son’s high school graduation in May 2004, I had taken the week off from my traveling software consulting job just to be home to attend the ceremony and to celebrate. But soon after the celebration he told us that he was going out to look for a job and when he did not show up for dinner that night I knew something was wrong and soon found a note he left on my bed and learned that he had decided to leave home, he had planned it long before but he chose not to share it with us in the fear that I might not take it too well.
Well, he was right, I did not know where to turn, I was desperate, I felt as if a huge hole was cut out from my heart. I was in such pain and this was after I had already gone through all other painful challenges in my life which I thought was much worse but then in hind sight, this was like a straw that toppled already broken pieces of my heart which I had been carrying for all those years.
For the first fifteen years of my life, I grew up in Gyung-gi-Do, South Korea with no one particular religion but with the support of a tight network of family & relatives where I had never experienced loneliness. Even if I was physically alone sometimes, there were always someone looking out for me. I remember that as a child, I loved going to Christian church as my nursery school was held at the church near our home in Inchoen but I also loved visiting Buddhist temple deep in the mountains with my mother and my siblings. As I was one of nearly forty million people living in South Korea at that time where 70% of the land area is mountainous, making South Korea one of the world’s most densely populated countries in the world, I have never felt alone and disconnected as my family and relatives were always there looking out for me.
But then I suddenly found myself very much alone at a high school, a convent boarding school in Gauteng province (previously Transvaal) of South Africa, still struggling to speak English after spending eighteen months receiving private tutoring in English in Orapa, Botswana. We, my mother and my three younger siblings, had joined my father there after living separately from him, for nine years in South Korea. Not all girls at the boarding school were nice, I experienced hostility, rejection and loneliness for the first time in my life. And one sunny day I sat on a bench, alone crying, at the top of the hill overlooking the wide open space over the hockey field and as I sat there quietly with my eyes closed, I began to feel the warmth of the sun shining on my face with tears running down, and then suddenly I felt this warm energy enveloping my entire being and felt this bright light shining through and around me. I felt calm and peaceful. Soon after that I started to experience more friendship and fun during the last year of high school remaining at the boarding school.
Looking back now, it was my mother’s belief in me saying “You can do whatever you choose to do as long as you put your mind and focus on it” that kept me going when I felt like giving up but I have no doubt that it was divine miracle how I got through high school and university in South Africa, managed to raise my own family there and built my career that allowed me and my family to relocate to Texas, USA to join my birth family.
Then twenty-eight years later when I was reminded that “We are One”, it was while I was receiving healer school training in Sedona, Arizona, so many doubtful thoughts were going through my mind. “No way, you must be kidding me!...” As far as I could see, certainly not on this planet because we are reminded of how different we are everyday through our interaction with our loved ones at home and with colleagues and customers & vendors at our school/work/community we are engaged in.
Waking up in a physical body that is separate from everyone else, each one of us with very different shape & sizes, abilities, personalities, background and circumstances, dealing with very unique situations and challenges. How is it possible that we are one? It did not make any sense and I rejected anything that did not make sense.
And then, I felt the same doubt and skepticism the first time I learned about divinity within and read about people seeing God everywhere, I did not believe them. I thought they were just pretending, I did not understand, I could not understand. I was vibrating with the very dense energy of being critical and judgmental towards everything and everyone around me, and yet, unable to see myself as I was being that way.
Having graduated with a degree in science, I was a product of the science education system that provided intensive training in critical thinking. We were taught to judge from day one at school of being right or wrong, it could never be both, it had to be either right or wrong. When you had enough “right” answers you passed and were accepted and when you did not, you failed and were rejected. So having passed and graduated, I felt good about my own judgment ability and no one showed me that I could be wrong.
I learnt this lesson the hard way much later in my life realizing that everyone can be right and wrong at the same time, depending on the perspective or who’s hat one is wearing; one’s right could be another’s wrong and that everyone has their reason for their action, no matter how wrong they appeared to be.
By the time I realized how wrong I had been insisting that I was always right, finding myself in frequent conflict at home and at work, I had suffered enough pain & trauma in my life and began to see the disharmony I had been creating around me.
Then I started seeing the sameness in all of us, rather than being one, I saw that we were the same at the core in that we all have a mother, a father, two grand mothers and grand fathers, although some may never get to experience of knowing them, we have the same basic needs and we all experience gains & losses, success & failure and surprise & disappointments at one time or another in our lives and that we shared the same emotions; anger, frustration, hatred, jealousy, hurt, loneliness, grief, despair, disappointment, courage, inspiration, love, peace, joy, contentment and compassion as well as hunger & pain, although some of these emotions may be triggered under the different circumstances for different individuals, the feelings themselves were the same. While some people may never get to experience some of these emotions but many people do experience all of these emotions at one time or another in their lives. I certainly have.
So then I started seeing the differences in each of us, our individual uniqueness, race, gender, nationalities, gifts & abilities, wants & desires, likes & dislikes, strengths & weaknesses, levels of health & wealth and the view of ourselves and the world. Oh my what a variety, what a diversity, just like many different fish in the ocean of varying sizes, shapes, colors and characteristics but at the end of the day, they are all just fish! So are we all just human beings, divine beings experiencing life in physical forms!
When I began to realize that every one of us is unique in many ways but same in every other way I began to experience harmony as I began to see the dichotomy of our existence on Earth and no longer being swayed by the emotions triggered by being attached to the extreme opposites; good and bad or right and wrong. And as I let go of those critical thoughts by embracing all that is and seeing myself and the world in wholeness, I began to experience more joy, contentment and freedom in my life. And the HHM program is the result of amalgamation of various healing methods I have used in my journey of healing and personal transformation from being impatient & short tempered, insensitive and critical to being at ease in wholeness and mindfulness, experiencing the state of being in heaven on Earth everyday.
I chose to write the book on ” Seven Holistic Practices for Harmonious Living: For Anyone who wants to experience heaven on Earth” to share my journey of experiencing frequent conflict with my loved ones and people around me and how I have been able to channel my energy in creating harmony, and experiencing special moments of heaven along the way. It is my hope that by sharing our passion & wisdom gained through our lessons and experience of life to date, all of us could benefit and advance together towards a higher level of existence on this planet, perhaps a heaven here on Earth is possible after all!
As Dalai Lama says, “Compassion is that which connects humanity” and I see now that the same compassion will help all of us to experience heaven here on Earth.
I have developed a Holistic Healing Meditation Program which helps anyone release thoughts & emotions that hinder them in experiencing heaven on Earth. Through my yoga and meditation practice, I have learned that heaven on earth is a state of mind that we can attain when we are at ease within ourselves no matter what is happening around us.
But as we all know, life on Earth is far from being heaven for many people. Having lived through the tragic loss of my birth family to sickness & disease and violent crime, I thought deeply about why this happens and saw the possibility that
- at the root of most sickness & disease are those inner thoughts & emotions that are not in harmony with the world around us and that these elements of disharmony persist for long enough to manifest themselves in sickness and disease. When we are able to change these inner thoughts & emotions to ones that are in harmony with the world around us, we can recover our wholeness & mindfulness, and restore our natural state of being which is a state of being in heaven on Earth. In this state, one is physically energized, mentally focused, emotionally connected and spiritually aligned.
- at the root of all conflict and disharmony in the world is not only the prejudiced view of one another but also and more importantly, we live in a competitive education and economic system that is based on fear. The fear that resources are scarce and that there is not enough to meet all of our needs and desires so we have to compete for them and the few winners take it all. It is the kind of system that illuminates separation and enlarges the gaps between winners and losers, haves and have-nots that continues to create more suffering on Earth.
So what is the alternative?
When we remember who we are and know that each and every one of us is a divine spark experiencing life in a physical body co-creating our reality through our thoughts, words & actions, and we have the power to co-create our reality by choosing to think differently and take actions by envisioning heaven on earth, focusing our efforts on what we want to create and helping others to do the same, perhaps heaven on Earth could be our new reality.
Envisioning heaven on Earth means seeing not only oneself, others and situations in wholeness and with mindfulness. That is to see both good and bad, strength and weakness, challenge and blessing. In our wholeness and mindfulness, we can maintain our own balance in current reality while simultaneously visualizing the possibilities that lie before us for co-creation.
When we can visualize a new world with an ideal based on abundance where everyone recognizes the abundant supply of love and resources in realizing our dreams. And when we can share each other’s dream and vision of heaven on earth, we can start appreciating our differences and start taking actions towards it, perhaps living in abundance and diversity could be a new reality for everyone.
The sooner we start envisioning the new reality, the sooner our children will be able to live in a world that is diverse but safe, heathy and just with compassion, clean air, clean water, clean soil and clean energy for everyone where everyone thrives.
All we need to do is embrace it by allowing ourselves to emerge from within by 1) Asking questions to ourselves and constantly watching what is alive within us at the same time, 2) Healing all that is not at ease within, 3) Seeing others & situations in wholeness, in duality in motion, 4) Thinking the right thoughts, 5) Speaking the right words, 6) Focusing on what we want to create and 7) Taking action to create space within, sharing our experiences with others, and keep moving forward! More details can be found in my eBook, "Seven Holistic Practices for Harmonious Living: For anyone who wants to experience heaven on Earth", to be released in September 2017!